The Colours of Parenting - Brown

I don't think I am cut out to be a full-time mother. But I reason it this way: Many people are not cut out to be parents yet they are. And once you have given birth to them, this is hardly a valid reason to use for not taking care of them full time if circumstances dictate and/or permit. Sure, I think the kids have got more knocks and hurts and probably loads more bad examples from an adult since I stopped working and stay home all day, most of the time. However, give me a chance, I am trying and I haven't really given up hope yet...

Still I think household chores always get at me more than the kids. Primarily because I see an end to the chores while I see no end to entertaining kids. Of course, you can put forward a valid argument: but there's no end to your household chores because you don't seem to stop! Until they are at school and one is having her nap and I can actually sit down and write this, that is. Yes, and yet, why do I still persist in doing it? Frankly the reason is that I am not clever and far-sighted enough. Or if I am, there is a sort of defeatist attitude in me that pushes me down the same road no matter how many turns are opened to me if only I make the effort to change direction. (Newton's second law in its full psychological manifest.)

So now I am reading Parenting books. Yes, I have read about 3 serious ones and another 3 or more on how to have fun with kids when they fuss. Yet, I haven't changed much. I think, for people like me, it's easier to learn from the books what NOT to do, and use all your elephantine efforts in refraining from doing them first. Than to put to practice what to do. That would be second, if it ever gets its turn.

So, I am trying to nag less, shout less, hit even less, lose my temper less. A small step at a time, since I am not made this way.

To nag less, they say there is a way to teach your children the self-discipline and responsibility needed. And that is not to be overprotective. Let natural consequences have their ways. So, I am hardening my heart even as I am trying to be a more caring parent too. Paradoxical? Who says parenting is easy?

Ok, more of this next time (maybe). Do share with me your thoughts too, fellow parents.