These days I am almost oblivious to Ethan. When baby is awake, I am taking care of him. When baby is asleep, I am either asleep or so zombie-like I can't take much notice of Ethan. I still try to listen to his requests and respond to them to prevent them from escalating into melt-down (though not always successful). Sometimes I just do a cursory reply. And as for his countless 'whys' and 'what you saying?' I find myself ignoring them more and more. When he has his tantrums, instead of trying to placate him, I fly into temper or treat it with detached coolness. I wish he were more independent with things like wearing clothes, brushing teeth, eating his meals, cleaning up after bowel movements, combing hair, but I can't be bothered to teach him all that. (Still, I am trying, now and then.)
Gone are the days when we would get up and rush in the morning so as to be early for the playgroups.
Gone are the days when I would rustle to prepare lunch so that we would have the lunch at about noon after we came back from the playgroups. This was to prevent him from falling asleep during lunchtime if the lunch were too late. Now the problem has shifted to dinner time, on (increasing) days when he does not have his afternoon naps.
Gone are the days when if the weather is fantastic in the afternoon, I would bring him out for a turn around the neighbourhood, or as he grows older and grows out of simple walks, to playgrounds in the meadow, near the Arthur's Seat or at Bruntsfield.
Gone are the days when I would rejoice in watching him play with other kids, especially the little Swedish boy. Now I don't see him play with other kids, simply because parents don't stay in the nursery.
Gone are the days when I would join in his games and do silly poses with him (alas!). Now I decline without reasons. Truth is, my head feels heavy all the time (re: zombie-like in the first paragraph).
Gone are the days when I would read to him and then tuck him in at bedtime. Now Jianming does it most of the time.
How can I say I am managing with two? I am just letting events flow out most of the time. And yearning for sleep. I really hope in the near future the four (including Jianming) of us will have better fun together.
Afternote: Jethro's sleeping pattern is more settled and I am better rested nowadays and can be more responsive to Ethan. Though it's still a far cry from what I used to be with him.
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Memories of Snow
2/2/09:
9/2/09 (the snowman was made by Jianming, with Ethan insisting on making the hat):
9/2/09 (the snowman was made by Jianming, with Ethan insisting on making the hat):
Some Home-grown tastes
The banana cake - one of the nicest recipes I have tried. Bing, if you want, can pass you the link, then you can make for Mother and she won't criticise at all!
The buns （陷料是叉烧 - 建明自己做的 - 和肉松 - 冰带来的 - 两种）:
The glutinous rice balls on 元宵 (今年没有做汤圆，因为台湾朋友上门拜访时买了一些来给我们):
The buns （陷料是叉烧 - 建明自己做的 - 和肉松 - 冰带来的 - 两种）:
The glutinous rice balls on 元宵 (今年没有做汤圆，因为台湾朋友上门拜访时买了一些来给我们):
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Baking Breaks
Correction! Baking can be very un-therapeutic too! Doubly stressful when you are trying to cream that butter and sugar into a nice creamy, light texture, while holding an unsettled baby in one hand, and having to answer unending questions from a three-year-old beside you.
Afterwards, I had Jianming put Jethro up on our makeshift 'high-chair' (basically tie the car seat to the swivel chair) while I continued with the rest of the baking. I couldn't possibly stop and entertain Jethro while he whined away so I left him be.
Finally when I was almost finished and cleaning up, I saw his dazed look (he had stopped whining) and eventually he fell asleep! I suppose if it were normal times when I would carry him when he cries, he may not fall asleep so easily. Although come to think of it, it has not been easy for him - took all the while I was baking for him to sleep.
Anyway, think I need a break from baking for now. Too much on the heart. I hope the banana cake (yes, I still went ahead to bake the banana cake because for some reason, Jianming bought more bananas) is successful, after all the heart-beats I had to withstand.
Afterwards, I had Jianming put Jethro up on our makeshift 'high-chair' (basically tie the car seat to the swivel chair) while I continued with the rest of the baking. I couldn't possibly stop and entertain Jethro while he whined away so I left him be.
Finally when I was almost finished and cleaning up, I saw his dazed look (he had stopped whining) and eventually he fell asleep! I suppose if it were normal times when I would carry him when he cries, he may not fall asleep so easily. Although come to think of it, it has not been easy for him - took all the while I was baking for him to sleep.
Anyway, think I need a break from baking for now. Too much on the heart. I hope the banana cake (yes, I still went ahead to bake the banana cake because for some reason, Jianming bought more bananas) is successful, after all the heart-beats I had to withstand.
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Looking for Routine in the midst of Chaos...
All are much recovered now from the flu in December, although Ethan still has cold on and off.
Did I ever mention that Jethro was a sleepy baby? Did I ever mention it with a hint of wistfulness, wishing he were more alert and hungrier? 'Be careful what you wish for', for this month sees Jethro not sleeping much. There were days when he hardly slept at all and nights when he slept for at most 3 hours at one go and took some time to get back to sleep again so that he ended up sleeping late. Things were much better at the close of January and he can sometimes sleep for 5-6 hours at a stretch at night. There were a couple of times when I was just holding him in my arms and doing gentle rocking motion and dealing with other things (for example, reading to Ethan) and I suddenly felt his head go limp - he had fallen asleep quietly. But those times were rare.
January is generally a depressing month in Edinburgh. The days are short (although getting longer) like December days and yet without any festive mood. So, to celebrate Chinese New Year, being in January this year, we have taken up some baking. We started with pineapple tarts. Jianming had made the pineapple jam earlier on and all I needed was to make myself start on the shortcrust pastry. Eventually I did, arms aching after the tedious rubbing-in. However, it was worth the effort as the tarts turned out to be quite good, especially when eating them fresh from the oven. Encouraged, I thought I would make a banana cake with the left over bananas. While surfing for a good recipe (there are a million and one banana cake recipes), I came across two cookie recipes that were really easy to make - no rubbing in, no creaming, just plain mixing. So I discarded the idea of baking the troublesome cake and made peanut cookies and cornflake cookies instead. The cornflake cookies did not turn out as expected - the texture was more cake-like. And I left the peanut skin in the peanut cookies. Still, they are not so bad that one can't eat them. After this baking experience in moody January, I have to finally admit that baking can be therapeutic. And life is slowly going back to normal - I have taken more of the cooking out of Jianming's hands too, though I still rely on him to get the groceries.
With Ethan, we are trying to get him to put on his own t-shirt and coat. It seems late for him to start, but it's never been easy trying anything new with stubborn Ethan.
Jethro had his 3 jabs of vaccination finally - they were postponed due to his illness earlier in January. He was a smiley baby that morning, and smiled at the receptionist, who talked babytalk to him, and anyone at the waiting area who bothered to look at him. After the first injection, he was at first stunned but refused to let it spoil his mood and continued to smile. However, the second injection proved too much for him and he had a great cry. The third one was greater. Still, he must have been in a particularly good mood that morning (I should be so lucky), for when I brought him out of the room, he was smiling again.
Another visit to the doctor for the redness on his face that did not fade away after applying the anti-fungal cream for 2 weeks yielded the prognosis that the redness could be eczema, so I went away with 2 more types of cream to apply on Jethro. Well, we'll see how these went.
On the two brothers, Ethan has taken to humouring Jethro when he makes noise after being left alone for too long. Sometimes I am busy and can't go to him immediately, Ethan would rush to him and try to talk to him, let him see him play toys, tell him stories etc. I think it's partly because he can't stand his little brother making so much noise although he's a great noise-maker himself. Still, I must say he is really helpful at such times and it's gratifying while it lasts.
New Year Day music at the museum.
A clown show and winter wonderland at Princes' Street Garden.
Smile! (or not)
Ethan entertaining a grouchy Jethro.
Trying out the baby carrier.
Trying to turn (but not quite).
Ethan's new interest.
"Me and my hands."
Using the computer (mouse) on his own.
Snow on 19/01.
The goodies!
Did I ever mention that Jethro was a sleepy baby? Did I ever mention it with a hint of wistfulness, wishing he were more alert and hungrier? 'Be careful what you wish for', for this month sees Jethro not sleeping much. There were days when he hardly slept at all and nights when he slept for at most 3 hours at one go and took some time to get back to sleep again so that he ended up sleeping late. Things were much better at the close of January and he can sometimes sleep for 5-6 hours at a stretch at night. There were a couple of times when I was just holding him in my arms and doing gentle rocking motion and dealing with other things (for example, reading to Ethan) and I suddenly felt his head go limp - he had fallen asleep quietly. But those times were rare.
January is generally a depressing month in Edinburgh. The days are short (although getting longer) like December days and yet without any festive mood. So, to celebrate Chinese New Year, being in January this year, we have taken up some baking. We started with pineapple tarts. Jianming had made the pineapple jam earlier on and all I needed was to make myself start on the shortcrust pastry. Eventually I did, arms aching after the tedious rubbing-in. However, it was worth the effort as the tarts turned out to be quite good, especially when eating them fresh from the oven. Encouraged, I thought I would make a banana cake with the left over bananas. While surfing for a good recipe (there are a million and one banana cake recipes), I came across two cookie recipes that were really easy to make - no rubbing in, no creaming, just plain mixing. So I discarded the idea of baking the troublesome cake and made peanut cookies and cornflake cookies instead. The cornflake cookies did not turn out as expected - the texture was more cake-like. And I left the peanut skin in the peanut cookies. Still, they are not so bad that one can't eat them. After this baking experience in moody January, I have to finally admit that baking can be therapeutic. And life is slowly going back to normal - I have taken more of the cooking out of Jianming's hands too, though I still rely on him to get the groceries.
With Ethan, we are trying to get him to put on his own t-shirt and coat. It seems late for him to start, but it's never been easy trying anything new with stubborn Ethan.
Jethro had his 3 jabs of vaccination finally - they were postponed due to his illness earlier in January. He was a smiley baby that morning, and smiled at the receptionist, who talked babytalk to him, and anyone at the waiting area who bothered to look at him. After the first injection, he was at first stunned but refused to let it spoil his mood and continued to smile. However, the second injection proved too much for him and he had a great cry. The third one was greater. Still, he must have been in a particularly good mood that morning (I should be so lucky), for when I brought him out of the room, he was smiling again.
Another visit to the doctor for the redness on his face that did not fade away after applying the anti-fungal cream for 2 weeks yielded the prognosis that the redness could be eczema, so I went away with 2 more types of cream to apply on Jethro. Well, we'll see how these went.
On the two brothers, Ethan has taken to humouring Jethro when he makes noise after being left alone for too long. Sometimes I am busy and can't go to him immediately, Ethan would rush to him and try to talk to him, let him see him play toys, tell him stories etc. I think it's partly because he can't stand his little brother making so much noise although he's a great noise-maker himself. Still, I must say he is really helpful at such times and it's gratifying while it lasts.
New Year Day music at the museum.
A clown show and winter wonderland at Princes' Street Garden.
Smile! (or not)
Ethan entertaining a grouchy Jethro.
Trying out the baby carrier.
Trying to turn (but not quite).
Ethan's new interest.
"Me and my hands."
Using the computer (mouse) on his own.
Snow on 19/01.
The goodies!
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