These days I am almost oblivious to Ethan. When baby is awake, I am taking care of him. When baby is asleep, I am either asleep or so zombie-like I can't take much notice of Ethan. I still try to listen to his requests and respond to them to prevent them from escalating into melt-down (though not always successful). Sometimes I just do a cursory reply. And as for his countless 'whys' and 'what you saying?' I find myself ignoring them more and more. When he has his tantrums, instead of trying to placate him, I fly into temper or treat it with detached coolness. I wish he were more independent with things like wearing clothes, brushing teeth, eating his meals, cleaning up after bowel movements, combing hair, but I can't be bothered to teach him all that. (Still, I am trying, now and then.)
Gone are the days when we would get up and rush in the morning so as to be early for the playgroups.
Gone are the days when I would rustle to prepare lunch so that we would have the lunch at about noon after we came back from the playgroups. This was to prevent him from falling asleep during lunchtime if the lunch were too late. Now the problem has shifted to dinner time, on (increasing) days when he does not have his afternoon naps.
Gone are the days when if the weather is fantastic in the afternoon, I would bring him out for a turn around the neighbourhood, or as he grows older and grows out of simple walks, to playgrounds in the meadow, near the Arthur's Seat or at Bruntsfield.
Gone are the days when I would rejoice in watching him play with other kids, especially the little Swedish boy. Now I don't see him play with other kids, simply because parents don't stay in the nursery.
Gone are the days when I would join in his games and do silly poses with him (alas!). Now I decline without reasons. Truth is, my head feels heavy all the time (re: zombie-like in the first paragraph).
Gone are the days when I would read to him and then tuck him in at bedtime. Now Jianming does it most of the time.
How can I say I am managing with two? I am just letting events flow out most of the time. And yearning for sleep. I really hope in the near future the four (including Jianming) of us will have better fun together.
Afternote: Jethro's sleeping pattern is more settled and I am better rested nowadays and can be more responsive to Ethan. Though it's still a far cry from what I used to be with him.
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4 comments:
It's not easy for u to cope with the 2, with one being very active, and one still yet to regulate the sleeping hours.
Think the time with Ethan will slowly get back to normal as u get used to handling both of them bah.
Jia you & take care of yourselves!
quite sad hor, when #2 comes along...#1 just gets ignored...but thk of it dis way - ethan's building more bond w daddy which is a great thg too =)
anw, i thk its still 过渡时期 nw cos J needs most of ur attn...n it'll be so much fun seeing the 2 play tog in another few mths (esp when J's pottering ard!)! stay postive :)
It's really tough when you don't get enough sleep!
When my second one was younger, I felt the opposite! Because the older one could clearly articulate his desires and the younger one couldn't, I would be responding to the older one most of the time. The younger one would just be carried along for the ride!
But now, the younger one is getting quite good at making his wishes known...The good thing is that the two boys also play quite well together, so they can entertain each other.
Don't forget to try to get time for yourself. ALL mum's need that, especially if you're taking care of the kids and home full-time.
Thanks for your encouragement!
I also think I should be more attentive to the older one because he is visibly affected by your actions but somehow, I am just not a very motherly person...
Yeah, Ethan and his dad really have a lot of bond-building and it's the best thing out of coming over here.
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