Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Dearth of Mirth

2013... I only wrote two posts. REALLY? Only two? At one point, I was even considering seriously closing this blog down. There was no inspiration, no impulse, no joy.
Ironically, the less I wrote, the less of myself I feel. Like I am really losing some part of me, not into the life of mothering and 'housechoring', but off, scraped away from this life, by constant 'un-usage' (hence the irony) of my (still present?) faculties. Even words have to be invented! Why can't I find legitimate substitutes?
And that is my summing up of last year.
This year, if only I can find the urge and ingenuity to write again. Most importantly, the lost part of me. Trust me, it is an uphill task, because I believe I am currently going downhill and I need to brake and turn around.
And on the mothering front, I will have to try very hard to "Praise your children openly, reprehend them secretly." For only in doing so am I really putting them before myself. Then, what was that saying again? "Children should be taught not the little virtues but the great ones." Wow, gargantuan task to undertake. Try another one: "What you teach your own children is what you really believe in." Now this sort of contradicts the previous one at times and implies a certain generational fatalism, no?

No comments: