A Year On

It's been a year since Heidi's birth. 12 months and I have not blogged much about this baby. Maybe on today, I should write something before she grows out of being a baby.

Heidi, in a way, has a number of things that she surpasses her brothers in and yet a number of things that worry us like the brothers never worried us before.

She was born the biggest of the 3, at 3.86 kg and 52cm. And she just keeps growing. She could turn over earliest, crawl earliest, stand earliest and walk earliest. What I saw as a tremendous struggle in Jethro and a little in Ethan did not seem to come across as such to her. She 'spider crawled' most of the time, getting from one point to another quickly. She had started to walk a few steps at 10.5 months old, then the next day perhaps decided she was not quite ready for it and stopped trying for awhile. Then around her 11th month, she started her walking again, this time steadier and more at ease. She could wave goodbye more readily than her brothers too.

But oh, the other stuff. Her eczema, her postural club feet, her hearing test failing, her pseudosquint (which set me worrying 'what if it's not just a pseudosquint but something more permanent?'), her inconsolable cries. And I am not even talking about the conjunctivities she had since she was born and requiring two trips to the doctors to cure, her small-sized teeth, her relative reticence and other bits and pieces that I would have accepted as all part of the bundle that came with the baby had she not had the more unique problems.

I thought Jethro had also enjoyed his brother's company more than Heidi does her brothers'. But maybe I speak too early. I should wait for a couple of months more. Ethan and Jethro were always smiling, seeming to enjoy themselves rather well, especially in areas where they would vex the adults (Jethro particularly so). Heidi appeared to be less so, frown more, such that up to now, I have very little to write about her. Perhaps it also had to do with the fact that I am working now. Perhaps it's also something to do with the differences between boys and girls. Girls do seem more serious, less wild and more shy at enjoying themselves whole-heartedly.

How is Heidi going to be like? I have re-read my blogs about Jethro's monthly report and found that in large parts, they are very much similar. Although Heidi's certainly more mobile, Jethro did not seem hampered by his slower physical development. His curiosity was that great, his presence that profound. His awareness of his surroundings seemed the keenest of the three.

I suppose my Heidi won't grow up to be a beauty, and she probably won't wear well the majority of the pretty girls' clothes that can be found in every children's wear shop (though I will probably still be tempted to get some of those pretty clothes for her and she will always be beautiful to me). But I hope she can transcend the superficial looks and develop her inner self, that soul which could be beautiful and strong and kind and loving and that mind that could be powerful and clever and perceptive. This is my wish for her, now I only hope I don't go and thwart my own wish through my own unwise methods of bringing up children.