A Second Set of Stitches and Other Things

Ethan's got his second set of stitches again. This time on the lower lip. It happened nearly 3 weeks ago and the wound's almost healed by now. Perhaps I shouldn't have brought him home early from school. But he was this happy to be home earlier. Then the howlings, the blood that welled up in his mouth and spilled all over the floor.
It was because I was mopping the floor and he was, as usual, jumping about in the house and oblivious to my warnings about wet floor. When I saw the cut, I thought, 'How could his upper teeth be so sharp?' and 'There it goes again, I'll have to bring him to the clinic, hope he won't need stitches.' But my hope was not met, we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon in KK Hospital.
While waiting for his stitching to be done (he had to be put unconscious again, but this was a different way, not general anaesthesia, compared to what was done in Scotland), I brought them for a walk upstairs, where there are shops, a small park and a small playground. Bought this art thing for Ethan to do on the spot as a way of passing the time, with guidance from the lady at the stall ('ArtUKidding'). For half an hour, he concentrated on colouring the car with the paint that would turn rubbery and hard after being heated, and was happy with the result. So, I think he had quite a good impression of hospitals in general. Dear me. Jethro also enjoyed the 'outing' and all the attention showered on him by the nurses. (They were really concerned about him making so much noise and shaking the railings on the hospital beds while we waited for Ethan to wake up.)
Life as a stay-at-home-mum is like this. Sometimes you feel helpless and alone in facing some issues with your kids. You'd better not fall sick because there is nobody else but you. But if you don't stay at home, and you work... Then there seems to be a dozen things to do each day and you have little time for your kids. You'll have to let go, and letting go is really hard and doesn't sound reasonable. You are afterall the mother.
So I have joined the rat race and everyday it's sitting in the car and bashing through the horrendous traffic so we can get to work one minute earlier and leave office a minute earlier. It gets tiring and the nerves are all strung up throughout the week for that rush and drumming the fingers during traffic jams. There is a bored toddler beside me and I really hate to have him go through this. Maybe in a few months' time, he's old enough and can join his brother in his child care centre that is nearer home. This is just temporary, you tell yourself. Everything is temporary. Every suffering, every inconvenience, they will be over - when the kids grow up, when you decide you can stop doing the work you don't like (your husband's pay is high enough), when working is easy-peasy and just a way of passing time and exercising your brain, because your kids don't need you that much anymore and you will be idling at home anyway. Come that day... But I don't want it to come so soon. I know I should spend more time with the children, especially at this period in their lives when they still look to you for company and guidance. Yet, this is also when the financial situation at home does not allow you so much freedom.
Why is life so difficult? Ever since Scotland, I have been asking myself. Can't we choose to make it easier? No rat race: scrimp and save and worry about saving sufficient money for the future; minimal social life. Rat race: no family time; the children are moving further away.